Wednesday, December 16, 2009

ill never understand how i can feel on top of the world to the feeling like its the world against me...
im crawling in my skin , see the pain , sadness, the anger, the fear in my eyes.

i've never felt so alone.







1 comment:

  1. Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. To me, defeat in anything is merely temporary, and its punishment is but an urge for me to exert greater effort to achieve my goal. Defeat simply tells me that something is wrong in my doing; it is a path leading to success and truth. -Bruce Lee


    I know it may sound a little quarky, but I know you may seem like you've been defeated and alone...or simply just have given up; I've felt the same, not necessarily your kind of situation, but the feelings have been the same for me. But if you really set yourself, be wise and humble, I'm sure...and I wish for you, that you'll overcome it. I can't stress enough that I'm still here and part of your life, whether you believe me or not, but I would really hate for you to completely let go of yourself and let everything go that is YOU and YOU alone. I feel like your purpose in life is useless. It isn't. You're not useless. I know that inside me that you're life is not useless. Don't ever feel defeated or think you had killed yourself; Trust me, I felt the same. I want you to know that I still care about you, regardless. I know between me and you has been rough and rugged, and smooth, all at the same time...But we still manage to come together. I'm always happy for that. I know that my past with you was really not what you and I expected, or wanted. Really, what you wanted. I admit that I was foolish, and doing what I thought was right...but it was wrong. No longer that I do that anymore. Looking at myself, I've delve deeper...I'm trusting more in my faith and my life. But you know, I've never hated you at all. Not even a thought. I still care about you alot...I'm worried, now, about you; I feel that who you are before, is no longer there. But I know you can get through this...You're not alone. I don't want you to be alone. It may take time to revitilize, but I just pray that you'll be that Ashley that was happy from day one =) We may not see eye-to-eye at times, or that we might not have those same feelings we had, but please consider what's still there...in front of you. That's me still being that close/best friend that you can always talk to and will listen and try to understand...even if it's one of them "verbal fighting". Know that I still care...know that others, who are still part of your life, care. Please feel better, I really want you to. You know where I am...find me...

    B.

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