so today i got in a conversation with my friend carie @ lunch and i just couldnt get her to understand my point of view.....so it directed from this girl @ the end of our lunch table was crying im liketo my friend carie im like it must be cus her bf like her relationship most likely ended cus the grl crying was in my 1st hour class.and i over heard the other day talking bout her bf issues or w.e typical shes worried he did something cus she was out of town i guess and blah blah who knows if he cheated idk the story which im sure theres more.but besides the point it was obvious she was upset over HIM.i know that sad crying over a boy face by heart.
but my friend caries like girls need to not cry over that....boys.or something like that....that girls need to learn bettershe said like why cry over a guy who just broke up with youthat obviously he was a careless jerk...
but in my defense i told her its still going to hurt like its not oh my god shes crying over a boy it HURTS & it does to get HURT like whether or not the guy screw you over cheated w.e the case wasthats the last thing you think about in reality when it comes to a relationship being doneim like you have to understand that if you were with someonefor long time you grow close to that person and you develope a strong emotionalbond .thats why it HURTS that , THAT IS WHATS OVER. that close relationshipsure you may be upset or mad that you got screwed over but thats not where the tears come from its that certain thing being over.... thats where the tears come fromnot from being cheated on not from being screw over but by loosing the very thing you grew to care bout so stronglyand knowing its over.
and then this other girl very well agreed with me.that what i was saying was true i understand my friend carie where she was coming from what she was saying but @ the end of the day no girl accepts the whole " he's a jerk , move on dont be upset over himits not worth your tears" deal into there head. regardles of how wrong she was treated and howmuch all the things she knows are right the whole jerk move on dont be upset over him its not worth your tearsdeal.doesnt matter-you cant phase a girls mind when it comes to"lust. love. infatuation." and thats what is comes down to.
MY STORY NOW.
im not going to lie i've had my fair share of being hurt , screw over numerous times.but i always gave out 2nd chance after chance after chance because i thought maybe one of the chances i gave out maybe it'd be different but it never was.but still for some reason i always went bck to the guys who screwed me over for some reason . -they pulled me bck so easily like a flip of a switch.ask anyone , they'll tell you my "guy past" to hell & bck.and i know that even today its effected me it still does how i am with guys/relationships, certain situations.but ...its changed in a sense like i wont let a guy treat me the way i've been treated or do the things that i was screwed over with which i have to admit is half true because.at the same time..i know in my mind i'd go back to my old ways and give out chances just like before i know because i've done it with my current boyfriend right now and my guy friends now but who were also at one point with me.
with my current boyfriend we got into an altercation and i was honestly hurt by something he has said my heart honestly broke and i didnt know what to do the first thing was i want it over that i couldnt do this
whole hurt/pain thing again . but @ the end of the day i did. n i gave out another chance which im not
saying i take it back because i dont @ all its just thats what i do ,and im making it a point
no matter how mad or upset i act im always going to give out another chance so is that bad im
not sure. i do still think bout it but its over and done with and that chapters closed

somewhat of what my grl said was right.but how to conform to what shes saying and actually be that strong person to be like hey you knowhe doesnt deserve me fk him blah blah idk, -its hard to be that i mean i put up a front all the time that yeh im okay, no im not mad, no im not upset , im fine,that no i dont care,nothing can break me , nothing can hurt me, blah blah that "tough exterior" i try to pull off.is not that "tough"as i make it look.
so somewhat of what the question... is
what will i do when the next time i get screwed over ?will i let go and stick that decision never thinking twice and not think bck or even think of giving chances out or will i forgive and fake forgetting it and be with that person give out another chance like before go against the very thing i said i wouldnt put myself through again.
but if i just constantly thought what my friend
thought i'd get no where. i guess with " love , lust , infatuation" you have to be willing to
get hurt to have any real relationship. to ...take chances and just trust the ones your with not to
hurt you .
so @ the end of this whole rant idk , i guess you can say i have mixed opinions.
like i said all this just directed from a convo i had @ skl with my grl in lunch.im just saying all this in general. ;]